A Patagonian Paradise

As Chandler Bing might say: "Could there BE any better place on earth than Patagonia?"

It's doubtful. Imran and I finally found what we were looking for on the South American leg of our trip and it was more than we ever dreamed it could be: a landscape so beautiful it takes our breath away; a world so serene and untouched that we feel rejuvenated and at peace with every breath we take. A place where we spend days hiking to get to a scene of nature so grand we do nothing but stare for hours; a location that makes us want to have kids simply so we can bring them here. Somewhere we haven't even come close to exhausting so will have new experiences when we visit again.

It was, in short, our perfect place and now officially our number one favourite destination on the planet. We ask every traveller we meet the same question: "What's the best place you've visited?" Now we understand why so many of them have said Patagonia.

I know I sound like a broken record. Every post I write seems to go on about stunning scenery that gets better and better with every country we visit and it's unlikely this will be the last time you hear it. But while we may visit countries next year in Asia that become our favourite destinations, we won't be doing anything like the activities in Patagonia so it's a safe bet it'll stay high on the list. And it takes a very special place that is so breathtaking it moves grown adults (not to tears but certainly to the bar for another beer to toast the incredible surroundings.)

Patagonia is an area on the Southernmost tip of the continent and both Chile and Argentina have a section. It's not quite 'the end of the world' but it's close enough to Antarctica to be jokingly referred to as this. Put most simply, Patagonia is a mass of mountains, glaciers, lakes, forests and steppes. But it's not 'just' this: it's the epitome of natural beauty at its finest and the most hard hitting example of the magnificence of the earth's creation and its superiority over man. Torres Del Paine is a National Park on the Chilean side and this is where we started our adventure. It remains unharmed because I think anyone who comes here with a view to building a chain hotel or a wretched McDonalds just looks up and thinks: "Sh*t, there's no way I can ruin this place." (Ok, I'm not really naive enough to believe that bigwigs from such corporations could think that nice a way. Lucky then, that the locals are too clued-up and have made it illegal for them to even try. And also I would personally go and beat them to unconsciousness with a giant turnip.) The highlights of Torres Del Paine are the 'torres' or 'towers' themselves: a massif made up of spires and mountains separated by valleys. This wondrous sight is what we woke up to every morning.

So, where did we stay? Harry Potter campsite. Sadly without the lovely Dumbledore anywhere. 'Harry Potter campsite' actually goes by the name of Ecocamp but I called it the former because our tents looked small from the outside but inside were big enough to run around in! The Ecocamp is not only our favourite 'hotel' on this entire trip but I would personally consider it the all-round perfect lodgings in any situation (for me, anyway.) As the name suggests, the camp prioritises the avoidance of environmental degradation and we were surprised to find how efficiently everything ran with just the use of mostly natural resources. Yet despite the 'natural camping' aspect, our dome-shaped 'tents' were ridiculously luxurious and comfortable with a quality bathroom and amazing shower. And a log fire to boot (enclosed and with a chimney but still - in a tent!) We were high up in the mountains staring right at the towers, surrounded by little pockets of secluded mini forests where you could disappear to for hours, refreshing your lungs with clean, crisp air and the scent of unidentifiable flowers with friendly birds and funny-looking insects for company. Imran even set his alarm to get up at sunrise just to take photos of dawn breaking over the towers and was greeted by a majestic rainbow for his efforts. We love, love, LOVED the Ecocamp (and its very social bar, of course) and recommend it to anyone who wants to go to Torres Del Paine; not just because of its location and environmental benefits - this is the icing on the cake - but simply because the rooms are great by any standards.

The activity options at the Ecocamp were named 'active' and 'soft' and we were asked each evening which we'd like to do the following day. Obviously with a name like 'soft option' we opted for the active and went on a 20km hike with another couple from London. Not just any part of London but five minutes down the road from us! I doubt we would've ever crossed paths in our home city but it just so happened we met at the end of the world. Anyway, we trekked through the mountains to reach Lake Nordenskjold, a spectacular body of turquoise water from where we also had a fantastic face-on view of the towers.

Our final day here was spent travelling to the famous Grey Lake & Glacier whilst stopping at various additional lakes, mini waterfalls and other scenic beauties. The Grey Lake is well known for the grey coloured water of the lake (shocking) but is more famous for the blue icebergs and glacier. I'd heard the stories about how blue they were and seen pictures too but thought: 'Pah, exaggerations and Photoshop.' So you can imagine how silly I must've sounded when we got there and I cried: "Oh my God, they're SO blue!" It was crazy. They really ARE as blue as you can imagine and look awesome. Here comes the science bit: the reason has something to do with the dense compression of ice and lack of air which captures sunlight and only allows high-energy blue wavelengths to escape. Something about the ice being like a prism and refraction and stuff. I don't know for sure - I didn't pay much attention in Physics class because I was always too busy laughing at the fact that my teacher was called Medhi Gedhi Medhi. Either way, the icebergs and the glacier are remarkable and the blue varies in colour and intensity according to the position of the sun, so we got to see them on a pretty perfect day.

Crossing over the border to enter the Argentinian side of Patagonia, we went to a place called El Calafate famous for the Perito Moreno glacier. It's bloomin' huge! 250 sq km and 30km wide, to be exact. It's just... wow wee, oh my days, riddik, blimey, gorgeous, whoop whoop, amaaaaaze! (I can't think of any more words for 'incredible' so I thought I'd just write the words that we used when we saw it.) Big ice hunks continuously fall off throughout the day; you know it's about to happen because you hear a loud, high-pitched creaking from right underneath the glacier and then a slow cracking on top before a sheet of ice just slices off and crashes into the water with an almighty, thunderous roar. It's seriously cool!

The best thing about Perito Moreno is that you can actually go on the glacier and ice trekking is now my all-time favourite holiday activity! I wasn't sure how much I'd like it because I even dislike ice-skating but there's no chance of falling on the glacier thanks to the crampons they put on your boots. Crampons are steel platforms strapped to your shoes with thick spikes on the bottom. Once you master the simple technique of walking (like a penguin) it's easy to run around in them - not literally because they weigh a lot and you have to jam your foot into the ice with each step but I had a lot of fun trying anyway! Imran and I were jumping over ice crevices and trying to land in various funny poses and this entertained us enormously, if not the other people in our trekking group. I don't think I've had so many continuous hours of fun like that for a long time.

At the end of the trek our guide of course had to do the obvious: he broke some chunks of ice off the glacier into a bowl and divided them between glasses of whiskey. Scotch on the rocks, the best possible way!

There are so many other parts of Patagonia which we could have seen but didn't have time. There is a seven day 'W' trek and a nine day Circuit trek around the towers of Torres Del Paine which we really want to do one day with children and perhaps other friends. For the very first time on our travels we were disappointed to be leaving a place and felt like our stay wasn't quite long enough. With so much still to see, we know we'll be back here in the future but for now we just have to remember the mind-blowing things we saw and the way we felt. At one point on our journey, in the breezy sunshine, we took a picture of a lake so picturesque that its image is used on the bottles of the local beer, Austral. The song we were listening to at the time was Michael Buble's version of 'What a Wonderful World.' So apt; so perfect. It really is a wonderful world and it's a waste of life to wait to see it.

Wishing everyone a very happy new year and hoping 2012 is filled with love and happiness! Xxxx

More Chile, please!

Ive been struggling for ages with this post about Chile. At first I thought it was a case of writer's block (my version being I can only write a dissertation instead of a doctorate) but I realise now it's simply because Chile is so damn difficult to write about as we can't pinpoint why exactly we loved it so much. We can't tell you about our action-packed days because we did far less activities and a lot more relaxing relative to the other countries. But we had a fantastic time and I'll try my best to describe it to you.

Chile sits right on the West coast of South America. It's so skinny that it wouldn't take you much time to go from one side to the other but it's loooong (half the length of the entire continent, actually) and seriously dry up top. Sounds like the chicks in Las Vegas. 

We started at San Pedro de Atacama in the north, a desert area that is the most arid place on earth. We then headed to the capital city Santiago and its surrounding regions of Valparaiso and Vina Del Mar, before spending some time in Puerto Varas in the Lakes District. We finished our travels in the southern-most part of the continent in Patagonia and the National Park, Torres Del Paine.

We were looking forward to seeing Chile; a country so lengthy must have an enormously varied landscape, right? It certainly didn't disappoint. If I could use just one word to describe the country overall it would be 'amazeballs.' It's a really, really fantastic place - beautifully diverse in its environment and the resultant things to see and do - and the people are SO nice. 

As we were happy to learn, the people are also wonderfully easy on the eye. While you guys at home were busy with the X-Factor, we were appreciating the Totty Factor in a country with more sexpots per square metre than you can shake a stick at (or anything else if you're single and that way inclined.) I spent two weeks lifting my jaw off the ground after it kept dropping to gape in awe at the super duper fitties. At times I hat to sit down: the overload of hormones can cause confusion, dizziness and disorientation. But the dreamy, peachy face of a concerned passer-by is usually enough to shake one back into a happy state. (Before anyone gets indignant on Imran's behalf, please let it be known that Imran himself conceded to the fact the scenery was rather good and he'll have plenty of 'observation' opportunities in Brazil.) But back to the country...

It's pretty pricey here. If you manage to find something that costs the same as in London you feel like you've stumbled upon a bargain. The Metro is the only thing cheaper than at home (unsurprisingly) but the food is in general way more expensive. And it's bad. Not 'bad' in the Michael Jackson or rude boy sense but in the traditional definition. They aim for gourmet cuisine here - a very fine aim, of course - but they also have a deluded belief they've achieved it. The so-called fine dining places had a real stroke of bad luck when I entered their establishments. I can smell a packet ingredient and a reheated potato from a mile away and I'm not afraid to throw it (sometimes literally but luckily not at anyone's head... yet.) Other foodies will understand my dismay! But it's ok: although the crap Chilean food and lack of fresh juices were very serious offences in mine and Imran's culture, the immigrant Peruvians were around to save the day by opening their own restaurants up and down the country. God bless those Peruvians! (And I think He did, by putting them at the front of the queue when handing out food competence. Those dishy Chileans just get full on great wine and foreigners' lusty sighs of desire.)

Arriving in Atacama, we were blown away (almost literally at times) by the sheer size of the desert dunes. There's a reason it's the driest area in the world: some parts of Atacama have recorded no rainfall since weather records began. Nada. Zilch. Surprising then, to find hotels with swimming pools here. But even in the desert, you shouldn't make the mistake of thinking this wealthy and well-developed country has more in common with its South American neighbours than it does with Britain. The natives will tell you that themselves in the impeccable English they all seem to speak.

The rocky mountains and sand dunes are the perfect backdrop for a bike ride and that was simultaneously the most fun and the most stupid thing we did here. 25km is nothing on a mountain bike if there's a path of some kind but we soon learnt that riding through sand isn't quite as easy. Still, to hurtle down a massive dune and sink so deep into the sand with the front tyre that you end up somersaulting (still on the bike) 150m down is certainly an experience. Imran will tell you: sand burns hurt! If he were more animal friendly, he could've had his wounds licked by our canine bodyguards. Wild dogs roam everywhere in Atacama and generally don't bother people.. but they do love cyclists and we had three of them merrily trotting alongside of us for our entire outing. It became quite funny when they kept stopping to take a break with us!

Santiago is more like London than any other city we've visited, but just with less of the historical architecture. Half of the streets look and feel like Embankment and Bank. The modern buildings, the cars and traffic, the styles and fashions of the people.. So much similarity to London (with the obvious exception of the weather!) And I don't say this with a frown. On the contrary, it made me appreciate the beauty of the city I'm lucky enough to call home. I just needed to go to the other side of the world to realise it!

You can't go to Chile and not try some decent tipples. And what better excuse to be drunk at 9am than my birthday? The vineyards in the Casablanca region are certainly gorgeous, especially Casas Del Bosque which we visited. They ensured they drummed into us that the Carmenere grape can only be found in this country and not in France where it was killed by disease. They love having one up on the Europeans. All our French friends, look away now - it's one of the nicest red wines we've ever had! I'd like to tell you more about our day and some details about Valparaiso and Vina Del Mar but after those early morning wines, we simply remember everything was "awesome, man!" We've got some lovely pictures from that day; just don't remember taking them..

That pesky volcanic ash sure seems to be a global problem but at least in Chile they have a valid excuse: there are bucket-loads of active volcanoes in the Lakes District area. And yet somehow, we still managed to get to the Germanic and pretty Puerto Varas without being stranded at the airport for three weeks (England, take note.) The sky looked pretty clear to me and I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about until the next morning when the ash had cleared up a bit and two beautiful volcanoes named Calbuco and Orsono popped up from nowhere right outside our room window. There's an enormous lake here which locals like to jog and canoe around and we did attempt to do both, but volcanic ash really does make one lethargic (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.)

In all honestly, it feels really difficult to make Chile sound interesting to you and I just can't give you exact reasons as to why we had so much fun here. Sure, chilling in Chile (haha) is great but there was an extra je ne sais qua to our experience. It's just..cool.  It's vibrant, it's got an amazing variety of nature and there's so much to see. Its similarity to London is comfortingly familiar but its difference makes it appealingly fascinating. The people are very conservative and moralistic (you'd be hard pushed to find anyone over the age of eleven in a bikini) and simultaneously easy-going and kind. They're also intelligent and, despite their good looks, are refreshingly lacking in arrogance. Chile is just simply a top place but it can't be described: it needs to be experienced.

Our Chilean voyage didn't end here, thankfully. Patagonia played host to us for a while. But that was simply so incredible it has to have its own separate post.

Hope everyone had a brilliant Christmas! Xx

Bolivia: Short 'n' Salty

Our stay in Bolivia was short and sweet. But it was also very salty. Lots of salt. A HUGE amount of salt. Over 4000 sq miles of it, to exact. Need more salt with your dinner? Just lick the table, son (all will become clear later.)

La Paz, the capital city of Bolivia, is loud, bustling, congested and cheery. It looks similar to Quito but with a much more positive vibe and chirpier people. It's in a valley, so the main road runs through the city at the bottom and all the other buildings are built up on the hillsides. This means it's tiring walking around here on all the uphill streets but at night, when everything is lit up, the place looks quite pretty with twinkling lights sloping upwards. The pollution is crazy and every patch of road is chock-a-block, even if this means they have to squeeze three or four cars next to each other on one road. La Paz is certainly full of character, if not charm.

In the community of travellers, we fall into a category known as 'flashpackers.' We're the travellers who stay in hotels instead of hostels; the ones who have a little suitcase as well as a backpack, and who go to visit friends we've made in the bars of their hostels but then leave at the end of the night to go to our comfy, quiet hotel rooms elsewhere. Of COURSE we're flashpackers! There's a reason we decided to go travelling at this age and stage in life, and to stay in hostels with 19-21 year olds as if we're university students again wasn't exactly on our 'must do' list.

Saying that, if you fancy having a tipsy night out, the hostels are the best places to go. You meet loads of people who speak English and it's a much safer environment than a local bar where you attract a lot of attention as a tourist. There were three young lasses from Lancaster in our group when we did the Inca Trail and we all wanted to meet up in La Paz so we had a rather messy night out in a hostel bar. Imran was in his element - boosting his ego every ten minutes by telling people he was a flashpacker because he was 32 years old and enjoying the shocked reactions of: "But you look 22!" Seriously, he is such a big head - someone have a word with him, please! But in his usual drunken way, he thought of every person he met as his best friend and characteristically spent the night with his arm around their shoulders. As we left, we bumped into a guy we'd met very briefly in Nasca and you'd think Imran had found his long-lost brother judging by the bear hug he gave him. He is a very jolly drunk!...

...But a frustrating misery the morning after! He soon realised a hangover at high altitudes is worse than a regular hangover but luckily, once you've seen the artisan markets, women in traditional skirts and cool bowlers hats, and the main church, there's not a lot else to do in La Paz. They have Death Road here - otherwise known as the world's most dangerous road - which sounded like a fun place to cycle but the number of deaths here have been rather excessive over the years so we thought it best to settle for a hot chocolate in a cafe instead. And that's why we're 30-somethings staying in quiet hotels.

So on to Salar de Uyuni, otherwise known as the world's largest Salt Flats in Uyuni, Bolivia. Frickin' incredible. We're talking about an ocean-sized area made up entirely of salt; miles and miles of a pure white landscape which, when the sun beams down and lights it up, is so bright you wonder if this is what the tunnel to heaven looks like. Our visit was not immediately after the rainy season unfortunately - this is when the flats turn into the 'earth's largest mirror.' However, our timing did allow us to see exactly how flat the dry surface was, and it was astounding to see how incapable you are at guaging distance here accurately. (As confirmed by a local family who apparently tried to walk to one of the tiny islands on the flats after their vehicle broke down thinking it was only a few hours away, and froze to death on the way because it just never got any closer.) Luckily, we had a car with a full petrol tank so we could have a bit of fun with the landscape instead. No camera or computer tricks: these photos are all done simply by standing far away from one another!

In the middle of the Salar are a few islands - actually the tops of volcanoes which became submerged eons ago - where you can find rock formations and giant cacti. A local here told us that the flats can be mined for salt forever and will never run out. Hmmm.. I don't think man ever came to any good by thinking natural resources were unlimited. And the brine underneath the salt crust is rich with lithium, meaning the Americans, Koreans and Japanese are trying their best to out-do each other in their wining and dining of the Bolivian powers to get hold of this lithium for missiles. Can't see the salt flats ever retaining the title of infinite if any of them are successful.

We decided to stay in a hotel on the periphery of the flats where everything was made of salt. Naturally, we assumed that 'everything' didn't actually mean EVERYTHING. But no, they do actually mean.. well, everything. The outer bricks, the tables, chairs, pool table, salt shaker (haha!), bed frame.. even the floor was like walking on a beach, except with salt instead of sand. (Douggie, I got you another magnet to add to your collection made entirely from salt!) Our dinner that evening lacked a bit of seasoning. Could we do it - could we really crack the obvious joke? Of course we could! "Not enough salt, love? Why don't you just lick the table?" I didn't think Imran would actually do it. Not a good move when this particular salt hasn't been through any purification process so is definitely not for human consumption!

After our short and salty stop at Uyuni (where we still managed to find fresh juices being made on the streets for 50p - get in!) we road-tripped for two days to the Chilean border. Two days of, we were told, lovely scenery. Lovely scenery, my ass! Calling this scenery lovely is like calling Paris Hilton a 'little bit trying occasionally.' She's a full-on annoying muppet and the scenery between Bolivia and Chile is SENSATIONAL. Driving down long, quiet roads, we passed volcanoes of a myriad of colours thanks to the different minerals in the rocks; rock formations that looked like animals and people; mountains identical to Salvador Dali paintings; quinoa fields; herds of llamas which ran away when we got too close (can't blame them - Imran has been eating their cousins for dinner here); fault lines and small canyons caused by earthquakes; white, red and green lagoons with twenty thousand flamingoes; and geysers (erupting hot springs) with warm steam billowing out of craters full of thick, bubbling sulphuric acid of assorted colours. Bear in mind that we've been talking non-stop on this blog about the stunning views we've seen and it'll tell you a lot when we say the terrain between Bolivia and Chile is amongst the most magnificent so far. It didn't look real. Everything we passed looked like a painting - an artists' imagined composition of natural features so breathtaking that they can't possibly exist in the real world. Well, they do. And we're two bloody lucky devils for getting to see them. Whoever or whatever 'God' is, I've got just one thing to say: "Thanks, dude."

Onwards to Chile!

Peru Part 2: Getting High

The highlands were calling: time to leave Nasca and take ourselves to some seriously high altitudes.

First stop: Chivay at around 5000m and the Colca Canyon. The former is a little village and small quinoa-farming community. To cope with the altitude here they chew coca leaves or drink coca tea. We had a bit of tea but one sip too many can keep you awake all night (after all, it is the plant from which cocaine is made and Coca-Cola was originally concocted using coca leaves until the company discovered caffeine.) So in true Amber & Imran style, we decided the best way to cope with any ill-effects of the altitude was to just throw ourselves at the mercy of the worst it had to offer and then we'd be fine: mountain biking around Chivay and the surrounding villages for several hours on our first morning seemed to fit the bill. And it was brilliant!

So many of our favourite holiday moments over the years seem to involve mountain biking (get us to trek on two legs and we'll moan for Britain but get us on two wheels and we're suddenly Coppi and Bartali.) At first our lungs burned as we tried to force ourselves up steep hills and couldn't quite catch deep enough breaths but we soon got used to it. We rode on serpentine paths around mountains and bounced down rocky steps through tiny neighbourhoods. And, as is my characteristic clumsy way, I did bound over a huge rock only to fly like a bird (Big Bird) then hit the ground with my bike landing on me a split second later, but it was done with such panache that I'd do it all again on purpose just to get it on camera. (Wishful thinking for those who hoped this might've knocked some sense into me as the bike only landed on my leg.) An hour in 39 degrees hot springs cleared up all bruises and we were ready for some more action the following day.

Colca Canyon is the deepest in the world at over 4000m (more than twice as deep as The Grand Canyon.) It's a pretty spectacular sight in its own right but most people visit here to see the condors, the national bird of Peru and the largest land bird in the world. It stands at a crazy 4ft tall with an almighty 10.5ft wingspan. We got lucky and saw quite a few thanks to good weather that morning but not overly close-up. Thank goodness for a zoom lense!

Every year the local people catch a condor and tie it to the back of a bull. With both animals frightened, the condor pecks violently at the bull so the bull runs around trying to get rid of the bird, making it peck even more. Eventually, the condor is untied and it flies to freedom. What's the purpose of this tradition? The people see the condor as representing themselves and the bull as a symbol of the Spanish, and, as we've learned from talking to a lot of local people, the South Americans don't have a lot of love for the conquerors of their continent and their old colonial masters. It's hardly surprising although it is a shame the bull and condor have to suffer for human behaviour!

After Colca we went to Arequipa or 'the White City,' so named because of the pearl-coloured volcanic rock used to make many of the buildings. It's certainly a very pretty city - quite possibly the prettiest in Peru. The cathedral in the main square is beautiful anyway but against the backdrop of El Misti volcano - a snow-capped volcano, at that - it looks even more impressive.

The national drink of Peru is the Pisco Sour: Pisco brandy, sugar syrup, lime juice and egg whites blitzed together with a drop of Angostorra Bitters. After having had a few too many of these one evening in Arequipa, Imran insisted it was our duty as British citizens to go to a karaoke bar and sing 'Regulate' (I've no idea what parts of a Japanese singing trend and an American rap song have to do with our national identity but still, he was adamant.) "Listen to that terrible racket!"** he said of the singing that was coming out from the windows. "We owe it to Arequipa to show them how it's done!" Hmm, I didn't realise an effect of the Pisco Sour was to make one forget how terrible his or her singing is. I'll leave it to you to decide whether we did or didn't walk into that bar that night!

Our next stop was Cusco where we stayed twice, nicely sandwiched around the Inca Trail. A lot of people say Cusco is far too touristy but we didn't think so. Yes, there are plenty of tourists as it's the usual starting and finishing place of the Inca Trail but we just found it so charming, attractive and traditionally Peruvian overall. Saying that, we were going to places like the local market where we didn't really see any other tourists. The market was fabulous (yes, I know I say that about every market!) but unfortunately we couldn't get any great pictures thanks to the famous Peruvian aversion to tourists' cameras. Suffice to say, I was buzzing from the mountains of different coloured corn cobs - cream, purple and black; stalls piled high with a rainbow variety of local fruit I'd never seen before, pyramids of lusciously scented dark chocolate blocks, and row after row of big bags filled with different types of quinoa, beans and flours. Imran, as you'd expect, was trailing along behind me saying: "You're so weird! This is boring. Can we go now?" Somebody please remind him of the reason he's fed so well at home! Once again, I lamented my lack of Spanish and the resultant inability to ask questions about all the amazing produce but hey-ho. Don't worry; be happy. I'm sure Albanian will come in handy somewhere sometime!

Just a quick mention about our last dinner in Cusco: we went to a restaurant called A Mi Manera and had a plate of fried potatoes. 'Chips?' you might be thinking. 'Whats the point in mentioning those?' The point is that they were the best fried potatoes we've ever eaten. Seriously. White potatoes, sweet potatoes and yucca; perfectly sized, perfectly shaped, perfectly cooked with the perfect outer crunch and perfect inner fluffiness. So perfect. So incredible. I don't have the vocabulary to describe to you how amazing they were but they just need to be mentioned here for the sake of all fried potatoes everywhere. Go to Cusco just to eat ten plates of these. You owe it to yourself. Did I mention they were perfect?

Our final destination in Peru was Puno and Lake Titicaca. To get here, however, we had a ten hour train journey to endure. It turns out 'endure' is entirely the wrong word to use and 'enjoy' is far more apt. We had come back from the Inca Trail to Cusco by train and been surprised at the random fashion show held down the aisles (the models being the same people who earlier checked our tickets and gave us drinks.) But little did we know, that was just the beginning of what trains in Peru have to offer.. especially if you've decided to treat yourself after the Trail to a little comfort and luxury.

The Andean Explorer goes through nearly 250 miles of spectacular scenery: Andean mountains and Plains, quinoa fields, valleys, the Huatanay River, eucalyptus groves, willow trees, gorges, canyons, and tiny traditional communities where kids leading a llama or an alpaca stop to wave at you. The train itself was reminiscent of the Orient Express with formal tables, waiters in fancy uniform and plush seating. There was a balcony or 'observation' carriage where we could just stand with the breeze flowing around us, watching the beautiful sights with uplifting Andean flutes in the background. This was thanks to the traditional band singing Andean folk songs. There was also a bartender in the bar carriage demonstrating the art of making Pisco Sours and later, a young girl dressed up in an outfit I can only describe to you as something a harlot in the 1920s Wild West would wear, swaying her hips provocatively to pipes and drum beats. Trying to keep her very large hat from falling off and being careful not to tear her very tight and very short bright pink and silver frilly dress, she started to pick guys to get up and dance with her. 'Ha ha!' I thought, when she began sashaying her way towards us. 'Imran's going to be chosen! Gotta get this on camera.' He looked rather afraid. "Remember our pact," I said with glee. "You can't say no!" Famous last words, eh? Maybe there's something about me that screams 'harlot of the noughties in alpaca clothing' but she thought it would be fun to grab my hand and lead me to centre stage instead. Still, no point in being inhibited once I was up there so I shook what my momma gave me as best I could. And I made sure she got Imran up immediately after me too! All credit to him, he shook what his mama gave him better than anyone else in that carriage. Hips like Ricky Martin. Luckily for both of us, we have no pictures - only film footage - and we 'don't know' how to put videos on the blog...ahem.

Puno is a very small town with not much to see or do. It reminded me a lot of India, what with the rickshaws, ramshackle buildings and people with a penchant for staring at you intently. You go to Puno to see Lake Titicaca: the highest navigable lake in the world, absolutely mahoosive (bigger than some European countries apparently!) and nearly 300m deep. It's a stunning sight made even better by the presence of Uros, the floating islands. A community of 3500 people, Uros is a series of homes built on reeds. It's quite amazing how they manage to have everything they need here to live and function perfectly despite not being on stable ground and floating in the middle of a lake. We saw the local kids rowing a boat to get to school - how cool is that? Talk about getting the kids to do some exercise. Makes a change from those awful Chelsea tractors.

But then, that's Peru, isn't it? It's a world away from England in every sense. We've not been to any other country which has as much character; so much common identity yet so much diversity. The history is intriguing and mysterious. The cuisine deserves a great deal more recognition in the global arena and the stunning landscapes just can't be emphasised enough. In all truthfulness, it's not somewhere we'd return because there's no need to see all those things again and the general population is not necessarily the most charming. It's a travellers' destination, not a holiday destination, and exhausting the country (as well as yourself!) once is enough. But that's what's so strangely great about Peru - you only need to see it the one time as it finds a way to etch itself permanently in your mind and memory as one of the most distinctive and compelling countries you'll ever visit.

** Obviously these are not the exact words Imran used but for purposes of decency I've changed a few.