How Excited Are You?

Amber's answer: "So excited that we’re in danger of exposing the true extent of our geekiness. Well, Imran’s geekiness, I should say: I’ve never even bothered to attempt the pretence of being cool. How nerdy must we be if, in our excitement about the trip, we walk around the house each day high-fiving one another at regular intervals? Just eaten dinner? High-five. Turned all our white laundry pink? High-five, baby! (Occasionally we might do a little dance as well. Specifically the CANDY DANCE. And we say: “Yeah boi!” A LOT. )

People keep asking us if we’ve packed and for some strange reason I sense a teeny tiny pinch of surprise in their reactions when we say no. “Are you crazy?” they cry. “What do you mean you planned to do all your packing two nights before you leave? What the bloody hell’s wrong with you?!” Not being of a very balanced nature and instead preferring to follow a path of any available extreme, I’ve decided the best way to deal with my inability to travel light is to simply take nothing. Three days’ worth of clothes max. Trousers that convert into shorts by a zip. Absolutely no high-heeled shoes (it still hurts me to say that out loud). Perhaps a few packets of disposable knickers pinched from the waxing salon down the road. It’s like a new Amber has emerged: from the one who used to almost literally pack the kitchen sink for an overnight stay (not quite the sink but I have been known to take my Vitamix and juicer if I can get away with it!) to the sleeping hippy being forced to wake up.

But despite the lack of packing, it’s not like we haven’t been productive; on the contrary, we’ve been doing incredibly useful things. Imran’s been practising his mixing skills just in case he can manage to convince some Brazilians to let him DJ at a beach party. DJ Ishmail is going global, don't you know. And I’ve been exercising my pelvic floor muscles in a bid to improve my bladder control, just to make sure that I don’t need to stop too often whilst trekking up a mountain to squat near a bush. It’s not generally my preferred way of watering plants. I think it’s helping – I’ve had no accidents so far when I’ve jumped up and down and squealed with excitement about our trip. Only 4 days to go… I’m so excited I could wet myself!"

Imran's answer: "I'm practically j*zzing in my pants."

The Time Is Now

We’ve reached a point in our lives where we feel like we’re satisfactorily existing rather than happily living. When our number’s up, we want to feel like we’ve had a successful life and we just don’t define success by the superficial (and quite frankly, boring) things anymore. We’ll believe we’ve had a good innings if we’ve given and received as much love as possible; if we’ve been content and peaceful on the inside and strived to always enjoy the present rather than wasting away our life by fretting about just the past or the future. And this trip is the start of that goal.

We’re going to party hard in South America and learn from the locals who have their priorities just right: if food and sex are the only two fundamental human needs that use all your senses simultaneously then these are obviously the greatest pleasures in life to celebrate. Damn right! In Asia we’re going to reawaken our spirits and appreciate Mother Nature: with just a rucksack on our backs and our credit cards cut up in the bin at home, we’re going to eat, meditate and Muay Thai-box our way around this incredible place. As part of our pact of saying yes to everything, we intend to live without inhibitions and be open to every reality and lesson we learn along the way. And have the time of our lives whilst doing it!


So here's our itinerary: 


Mexico, Ecuador & Galapagos Islands, Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina for Christmas and Brazil for New Year. We'll be staying in boats, in jungle lodges on the Amazon, dome-shaped Eco Camps and sleeping under the stars when we do the Inca trail. We'll see the full and beautiful spectrum of nature's bounty: deserts, mountain ranges, waterfalls, salt flats, rainforests and beaches. We've no desire to tick any of the regular tourist boxes when it comes to seeing certain cities: Sao Paulo may well be the largest city in Brazil but there's nothing there that attracts us. We plan to spend our time with the locals in the smaller places and learn about the real way of South American life. While Imran's busy stalking UFC champion Anderson Silva, Amber will be busy trying to befriend groups of old ladies who'll teach her how to cook the local dishes. There is no such thing as a language barrier when it comes to martial arts or food!


At the end of January we'll be back in London for just enough time to get our visas and jump on a plane to Vietnam. There we'll hook up with the Fittie McVittie contingent of the Lakha family before heading on to Cambodia to build houses and work in schools and orphanages. After that we have no idea where our trip will take us and for how long: all we know is we'd like to see Laos, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, Japan and China. Our only certainty is that we'll stay in monasteries to meditate with monks and learn martial arts (Amber might need to get a yellow jumpsuit a la Uma Thurman in Kill Bill!) As much as we doubt we'll want to, the heat in Asia at that time means we'll probably be forced to come home in June 2012. What happens after that is anyone's guess...

One thing's for sure, though: we're going to miss our friends and family so much... Stay in touch!