Well, fear not, my horny pals, for the Japanese have come up with an answer: Love Hotels. A 'love hotel' is exactly what you think it is: a hotel designed specifically for makin' lurve; for a good old session of animal bonding when there's not enough privacy at home. Sea views, room service quality and free slippers don't matter.
Head down specific streets in the big cities of Japan and you'll find a range of hotels dedicated to rumpy pumpy. There are pictures of the rooms on screens outside so you can choose beforehand if the decor you desire is either understated elegance (for the classy devils) or black satin sheets and disco balls (if Austin Powers is your hero.) A different ambience for whatever moves you have the energy to pull off that day, I guess. The streets are quiet and you never make eye contact with the other couples walking around checking out the price lists because respect for others' privacy is paramount. Prices vary according to the length of time you have available or the number of little blue pills you managed to buy: sixty minutes, three to five hours or overnight, and because this is Japan where everyone is unbelievably polite, nobody will laugh at you for only needing an hour. 'Do Not Disturb' signs aren't necessary.
Inside the hotels, receptionists sit behind steel shutters raised just high enough to see a pair of hands. Anonymity is of utmost importance, obviously. They're only there for emergencies. To actually get a room, you pick one from the 'vending machine' - it's a veritable pick 'n' mix of sexy, snazzy surroundings. Just like when you fill a bag of sweets at the cinema, you peruse at your leisure and choose the stuff that looks nice but you do so efficiently because you don't want to hold up anyone behind you who might be in a hurry to get into the dark room and begin the entertainment. Love hotels in Tokyo are generally quite plush and swanky but head over to Osaka and you can find kinky rooms with a mini-bar stocked full of handy toys, gadgets and accessories (or so I've heard - don't think I'm talking from experience!)
And there it is: the answer to the prickly problem of needing to get away from your family in order to get your groove on. It's what they do in Japan. They have an issue to deal with and they find a solution. No whingeing or messing about. They create what they need to and move on. There's a set time and place for every activity: an office to work, a bar to drink, a hotel for hanky-panky and a restaurant to eat. Stick to the rules, don't blur the boundaries of what's done where, keep the system going and everything will be just fine. The whole caboodle runs smoothly, with order and calm, and life is good. But here's the thing: when the order you talk about includes Love Hotels and other such quirky stuff, you start to feel a bit confused. How can such a conventional and moralistic society come up with Love Hotels? How can a place so self-consciously conservative that public toilets have a 'sound effects button' to mask the sound of a person peeing also be home to men walking the streets in dolls' dresses? Because it's Japan, and that's the only answer I can give you. It's a country of two extremes: absolute orthodoxy on one side and bizarre eccentricity on the other. That's what makes the country interesting and impossible to figure out; its just the way it is and, thankfully, 'the way it is' makes for one of the most unique, random and fascinating places in the world. Japan: it's the place where the mind boggles.
We took a detour from south east Asia to spend a couple of weeks in Japan primarily to see our fabulous friends Lex and Suzanne who've lived in Tokyo for a while now. They were kind enough to put us up - or should I say, put up with us - in their home for a week, after which Imran and I visited Kyoto and Koyasan for a while. Suzanne was our Superwife for the week, cooking for us and doing our laundry while she was eight months' pregnant and a belly like the front of a bullet train on her tiny frame (Lex's description, not mine!) Due to it being Golden Week when we went to Tokyo, Lex had a few precious days off from work and the poor guy spent them all with us.
Tokyo is exactly as you imagine it to be. It's full of lights and a literal electrical buzz. You need to look up to see everything as the buildings are built tall. A bright, neon sign tells you what's on each floor of a building but don't expect to have a clue unless you can read Japanese. This is not a country interested in making life easy for foreigners. And why should it? It's proud of its self-sufficiency. Japan has always been a relatively closed society and outsiders moving here hasn't been actively encouraged. The majority of foreigners living here are actually Brazilians of Japanese origin. People like Lex and Suzanne can make a life in Tokyo because they've made a concerted effort to learn the language and wholeheartedly embrace the culture... although I didn't see any dolls' dresses in Lex's wardrobe.
Despite the city being huge and with a sea of people on every main street, Tokyo feels very calm and organised. No surprise there. Different districts of Tokyo 'specialise' in certain things or have a particular characteristic. For example, Akihabara is home to electronics, computer games and iconic Manga images. Shibuya is happy and cheesy like Leicester Square, whereas Shinjuku is more like the Japanese Soho: edgy with lots of bars and dodgy places (such as male escort clubs that have giant photos outside of the pretty young men up for grabs inside.) But every area has that unique Japanese vibe - we've never been anywhere in the world that feels so distinctive that you're permanently reminded of which country you're in and that you're an outsider in it.
Of course, we may have felt that way because of Imran's fro. I know I mention it a lot lately but by this point in our trip it was attracting a lot of attention! Such a traditional society could not handle Imran au natural - Jimi Hendrix didn't penetrate the mainstream popularity here - so one day of too many wide eyes was enough to make Imran gel that mop down for the rest of the trip! The people were obviously far too polite to stare openly (at least until Imran had passed) but I doubt they were very impressed; after all, this is the culture where surveyed youngsters recently claimed 'individualism' is the biggest modern-day threat to society.
It was the little things that defined Tokyo and made it so original and identifiably Japanese: the automatic taxi doors, the giant apples and the most lovely trees in the world. I know it's totally random to mention the trees but I'm serious, they really are the coolest trees ever! There are stunning parks and elegant temples, greatly sophisticated in their natural beauty, and yet there are pulsing strobe lights publicising karaoke bars and electronic darts halls. We obviously enjoyed every single one of these things - a leisurely stroll around a pretty park and a peaceful temple by day, and fun games and sing-a-longs by night. Electronic darts is simply more fun than people ought to have with a pregnant lady in their group, but luckily Suzi kept the water seal intact. Perhaps our fantastic group effort during karaoke at Eminem's 'Stan' scared Baby Papa into hiding. We did rock it, though! Who knew we all had a knack for angry rapping?
Aside from the trees, there were three other things we loved about Tokyo. One was obviously the amazing Japanese food. Enough said. Another was the 'mass wishes.' In all temples and other sacred sites, people could buy wishes written on ribbons or write their own on the material of choice at that particular place. They were all hung up together to create beautiful displays. This wasn't actually specific to Tokyo and could be found all over Japan but the display at the Meiji Shrine was our favourite. The other thing was the tiny alleyways. It seemed like the smaller the street, the more interesting it was and the more goodies it housed for us to discover. Whether they were alleys dedicated to tiny bars where only a few people could drink at any given time, or yakitori (barbecue) bars serving fresh food straight off the grill to a mere handful of diners, the fun in frequenting these places lay in the lack of space. Go with a few mates and you could while away the hours by being the only people in the establishment.
Each day in Tokyo it felt like we went from one extreme to the other. The maps in the city were impossible to decipher yet the locals were the kind of people who would walk miles to take you to your destination if you asked for directions. The women were so well-groomed here; granted, they all looked exactly the same in their girly dresses, rosy cheeks and Bambi-eyed make-up, but their ability to walk everywhere in high heels that made even me break into a sweat was impressive. I certainly spent most of my time in Tokyo feeling like a total scruff bag in my unladylike jeans and trainers! On the other hand, I've never been so glad to dress like I do as I did on the day we went to a Maid cafe.
Maid cafes. Oh, my word. Where do I even begin describing these places to you? How do I justify even going to one?! Actually, the answer to that is easy: Imran made us go. As the name suggests, these are cafes where you're served by girls dressed as maids. It's not supposed to be sexy in the same sense as we would consider it in the West, but, coming from that point of view, you still can't help but think it's a bit inappropriate. To the Japanese, it's meant to be a very cute thing and the 'maids' play up to that by talking in shrill and piercing voices whilst singing and fluttering their eyelashes at you. They purr - literally like cats - and giggle, and want you to make heart shapes or kitty paws with your hands. It's just so bizarre! And yet they're everywhere in Tokyo because people love it. We saw all manner of people here, from strange old men sitting alone, to teenage guys having a 'cool' afternoon out, to mixed groups of twenty-somethings enjoying a beer. Like I said, the locals don't bat an eyelid but it was far too strange for us to understand why young girls dressed in provocative, frilly knickers, sidling up to customers and wanting to be stroked and patted, could be the latest trendy fad. Especially when the lights dimmed and one of them would dance like a lunatic and sing in a voice so high-pitched that dogs would gather outside. Especially when the cafe we went to was called MaiDreamin' and they didn't know how terribly wrong this innocent play-on-words could be when they wrote it a certain way in chocolate sauce. Cute? Perhaps to the Japanese. To us it was simply comical and peculiar. There are some things that just don't cross the cultural borders.
But there are some things that do! Time for some stereotypical fun. You can't go to Japan and not see Mount Fuji, some sumo wrestling and ninjas, can you?
Lex, Imran and I went for a day trip to see Mount Fuji and the area of Hakone. The entire place is beautiful and the volcano is every bit as spectacular as you'd think. It seemed to float around the clouds, almost as if displaying its might and magnitude as one of the world's most well-known imposing mountains. The Fujisan viewing point we went to was close to some active volcanic sulphur vents and hot springs. Woo hoo, that sulphur smelt funky! Not pleasant at all. But people go there to see eggs being boiled in the springs: kuro tamago or 'black egg' which describes the colour of the shell when cooked in the sulphur. Eating one of these boiled eggs apparently adds between 3-7 years to your life. We decided we'd try to do the same by exercising and eating our greens forever more instead. Egg flavored ice cream didn't entice us much, either. Good job, as we sailed on rocky waters in a pirate ship/galleon hybrid and throwing up eggs over the side would not have been pleasant. It was a lovely day, marred only by the fact that Liverpool lost the FA Cup final and Lex was not best pleased. How to cheer him up, I wonder? I know, naked men! Well, that works for me. I've no idea why it doesn't work on straight men.
There's something very appealing about men fighting in a controlled environment. It makes it so much more acceptable when they've trained for it and do it sober. Hence why a ruckus in a pub on a Friday night will make me shake my head in disgust but a cage fight in an arena that we've paid to see tickles my fancy. Athletic men using skillful techniques to hurt each other just gets me excited and it's quite disturbing to realise I feel the same way about fat men in nappies with in-built wedgies. If anyone has a name for this issue and the number of a good therapist, I'd greatly appreciate it.
There was a big sumo wrestling tournament going on in Tokyo during our visit so the four of us went along to enjoy the show. These guys are HUGE. I mean, they're unexpectedly tall as well as wide. They're obese but they're also athletic as hell. How on earth does that work?! Underneath the flab, they're made of solid muscle and some of them had legs and arses that could double as building scaffolding. Surprisingly sprightly limbs. That kind of flexibility on a big dude is rather sexy, I have to say. (Seriously, the number of that therapist, PLEASE!) Their balance and ability to squat on tiptoes was staggering and you don't get that from just being a blob. Make no mistake about it, these guys train hard and sumo wrestling is an art form. Nevertheless, it's still totally random to make a sport out of fat guys trying to push each other out of a ring! We really enjoyed the brutal contests, where one guy would smack his hand into his opponent's face and push him out of the ring by his neck. One wrestler from Europe was quite possibly the largest person we've ever seen in our lives and as the saying goes, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. He was so large that he didn't even have a bum - his entire body just blended into one massive, shapeless lump. When he took a nose dive - stomach first - to the ground, the entire stadium shook and reverberated and we had to hold onto our seats while we rode out the mini earthquake. I prayed that Suzanne wouldn't go into labour, primarily because I still wanted to watch the fights. There were loads of bouts at the show we went to; they barely last twenty seconds as there's always one dominant guy who easily dispatches of his opponent, so everyone gets really excited on the odd occasion when they're more evenly matched. In between the clashes, there's the usual pomp and circumstance of waving flags and clearing the ring, but done so with the elegant ceremonial flair only the Japanese can pull off.
The final match was the one everyone had been waiting for: last year's champion defending his title. Although the sumo wrestlers would all compete more times throughout the tournament before a champion was announced, the reigning champ had a lot to prove in his first challenge. But an upset was pulled off and he lost! What would you consider the characteristic Japanese response to be? A polite clapping to commiserate? A lack of loud celebration from the guy who beat him, who humbly accepted his victory with a nod of the head? Nope. The audience members grabbed their cushions from underneath their tushies and flung them into the ring - a sea of red flying through the air all over the stadium. Fun, yes. A cool tradition, yes. Once again, an odd, unexpected trait of the Japanese? Most definitely. What a fantastic afternoon.
Dinner on our final night in Tokyo was just as much fun but centered on a whole different icon of Japanese culture: the ninja. Time to go from the big, bold, in-your-face presence of sumo wrestlers to the evasive stealth of these mysterious assassins. We went to a 'ninja village' (a restaurant) and furtively peeped round corners as we made our way down dark passageways to our cave (private dining room.) Our ninja guide (waitress) appeared from behind a magic door. Seeing as other diners got themselves a ninja guide that swung down from the ceiling and leaped in front of them, I'm going to give our guide the benefit of the doubt and say that the door really was magic, and not that she just couldn't jump around in a similar fashion perhaps.
We had a great dinner at the ninja village. Some of the food was a bit of an amateurish attempt at Heston-style molecular gastronomy but it was all very tasty and creative nonetheless. One of Suzanne's dishes came with a Samurai sword pierced through a melon and when she pulled it out, dry ice floated about everywhere. Why anybody thought it was a good idea to give a pregnant woman a sword I'll never understand but luckily Suzi wasn't hormonal. The theme and ambience was a bit of good-natured fun and we even had a magician! Apparently, normal magic tricks differ from 'ninja magic tricks' if you precede every magic-related word with 'ninja.' We thoroughly enjoyed watching him do some super cool stuff with his ninja cards before he disappeared into the ninja night. Ninja magic rocks!
Onwards then, to Kyoto. Once again, so very Japanese but completely different to Tokyo. This is the home of geishas, the famous tea houses and supposedly the "prettiest street in Japan, if not Asia." The central hub of Kyoto is commercial, busy and bustling but distinctly lacking in brash lighting and skyscrapers. We stayed in the serene area of Gion, mostly because we wanted to spot a geisha and this is the main place where they entertain their clients. There are also some unbelievably pretty streets here that look like paintings when lit up at night. Buildings are lower here and all you see when you look up in the regular streets are masses of electricity cables criss-crossing each other.
One of the things we loved about the quieter parts of Gion, which other people might actually dislike, is that you don't know what any of the buildings are because there aren't any windows. The front of each restaurant or tea house or shop is just a plain frame covered with either a curtain or a sliding door, so it was an exciting mystery as to what lay behind those closed entrances. You can see dim lights behind the doors but don't know which establishments are off-limits to you and which will welcome you with open arms. But what's the worst that could happen if you walked in? You could be (politely) sent out again. No big deal. We were willing to take the chance and hopefully find a place where we could have a really cool experience, rather than go to the main streets and the open and obvious shops or restaurants. One evening we did an eenie-meenie-miny-moe pointing thing at a row of these secret hangouts and stumbled upon a restaurant where, to our shock and delight, the chef could understand a tiny handful of English words and gave us his full attention all night as we were the only customers in there. We managed to explain that we only wanted vegetarian fare with a little bit of fish thrown in and then simply waited to see what we would get. NINE courses of intricate and beautifully prepared and presented dishes later, we were stuffed but didn't have a clue what we had eaten. Through sheer determination I managed to find out the dessert was non-dairy black sesame ice cream with a grapefruit jelly-mousse type thing. It was SUBLIME. Yuu-uuu-uuummmm.
We stayed in a traditional inn or 'ryokan' which is similar to a hotel but with very few lodgings and a homely feel. The rooms are minimal to an extreme; the most you'll find is a low table and seats which are moved aside when your futon is rolled out on the tatami mat floor each night. Ryokans are generally ridiculously expensive but you stay at one for the dining experience above all else. Breakfast and dinner are ceremonial: lovely ladies dressed in traditional outfits serving you course after course of various foods. You choose a time to eat and the food will be brought to your room exactly on time; certain dishes need to be served at the optimum temperature so your punctuality for meals is vital. Remember the Japanese are sticklers for perfection. Everything is 'just so': the way food is presented, the way the people who serve you are presented, the manner in which every traditional act is done.. it's simply, well, luxurious. We're not the kind of people who are comfortable with people literally bowing down to us and tending to our every whim but hey, for the prices you pay in these places, you may as well make the most of the indulgent extravagance for a night!
The sights in Kyoto consisted of temples, markets, castles and shrines. They were all very picturesque but I'm someone who gets more excited about the smaller details, and the Gion version of a taxi made me smile (you can just about see it in the first picture below.) The best sight, however, was a real-life geisha. How cool?! Actually, she wasn't a geisha but a maiko, a geisha-in-training, who needs to learn the geisha arts for five years. It's not easy to tell the difference and it doesn't really matter either; we were just embracing the pedantic Japanese attention to detail! It was the maiko's tiny strip of bare skin directly underneath the hairline that showed the distinction between her and a geisha. The poor girl looked highly embarrassed to have her picture taken. I'm not surprised, seeing as there were hoards of tourists who were hanging around that specific street at that specific time for the sole purpose of catching a glimpse of one of these iconic women walking to a tea house. Imran was obviously one of them - I was off buying giant fruit in a grocers because I honestly didn't believe we'd get to see one. The jammy bugger! At least this ravenous pack of camera-carrying wildcats just hungrily took their pictures and then left satisfied. There are many stories of people actually hounding and touching and grabbing the ladies. I mean, seriously? What kind of an idiot does that? A moron with no respect or common sense, that's for sure. No wonder the geishas/maikos dislike tourists. It's almost a shame the Japanese are so polite and peaceful because with their background in martial arts, I'd love it if the women learnt how to get those pesky touchy-feely tourists into a headlock!
The 'wishes' I mentioned earlier were available in ready-made form at the temples in Kyoto and these ones made us laugh. Lex and Suzanne had obviously already had one of them come true so we bought Suzanne the one for easy delivery and hung it on the tree. We weren't quite sure how the benefit of the wish could be transferred onto another person. Did we tell the salesman behind the counter? Did we have to pray in the temple and hold up the wish while we explained to God that it was for someone else? In the end we just hummed and chanted "For Suziiiii, Suzi, Suzi, Suuuuuziiii" as we hung it up. Not only must we have looked strange to the people around us but we must've looked incredibly odd to the Almighty too.
Kyoto seemed tranquil but it was positively raucous compared to Mount Koya (or Koyasan.) Koyasan is Japan's Buddhist heart and the location was specifically chosen by the founding monk Kukai because the mountain has eight peaks surrounding the valley town which look like the petals of a lotus flower. It is such a beautiful town. Really, incredibly beautiful. The trees here are spectacular, even more so than in Tokyo. We do love trees. We're aware of how hippy we may sound to comment on their beauty but appreciating nature is just a sure-fire quick route to instant gratification, gratitude and contentment. Why would anyone not wanna do it? Anyway, I digress. When we went to Koyasan, the cherry blossom season was at its end so we caught the last of the candy floss flowers and the start of the rusty colored leaves alongside all the green lushness.
Getting there meant taking a series of trains, a cable car and a bus. Perhaps too much effort for many people and there is a tiny chance that had Imran and I been in Japan alone, we may not have gone to all that trouble either (shame on us), especially with the language barrier being more of an issue here than any other 'off the beaten track' place we'd ever been to. Thankfully, Lex and Suzanne told us exactly what to do along our journey. For that reason, getting there was effortless. In fact, it was rather entertaining! At one train station we met a lady who could speak some very basic English. And like all Japanese people who can speak those few vital foreign words, they really want to talk to you. This lovely lady was absolutely barmy and kept shaking our hands, laughing madly at nothing, telling us how happy she was to meet us and welcoming us to her country. She was so nice! Hilarious, but delightful. Her train arrived before ours and she was almost falling over in her carriage in her energetic enthusiasm to wave at us until we were out of sight. We cracked up for a good ten minutes after that but she did make us love the people even more. The trains took us through spectacular mountainside scenery; one moment we'd be going through a dark tunnel and the next we'd come out alongside grand, emerald hillsides.
We stayed here in temple lodgings known as shukubo. It's very common for pilgrims to stay in the temples and the rooms are the same as in ryokans. While we weren't technically Buddhist pilgrims, we do consider Buddhist beliefs to encompass a lot of our own spiritual beliefs and we like to meet as many Buddhists as we can in life to learn more about living mindfully. So what's in a name, eh? I was very excited about the 'otsutome' - the morning ceremony where monks and the chief priest chant Buddhist sutras. Imran wasn't quite as fired-up seeing as the wake-up call for the prayers was at 5.15am. He only gets excited at that time if he's off to photograph a sunrise.
The room in which the otsutome took place was cold. We wrapped our arms around ourselves hoping a self-hug would warm up the thin material of the traditional yukata robe. A quick rub of the eyes, a big yawn and a full stretch would've woken me up completely but I wanted to stay slightly tired so that getting into a meditative state was easier. I kept cracking one eye open to take in the details of the room and the ceremony and carve them into my memory but, after a little while, the fire grew to magnificent proportions so I just stared at the flames instead. Mesmerising.
The room was dark. The walls, mats and low seats upon which the monks sat were in shades of brown, mahogany and coffee. There was a large chestnut-colored drum, a massive gold gong next to the fire and twinkling candles everywhere. The centrepiece was a gigantic, bronze Buddha statue. Smoke from the embers mingled with the intense scent of incense and filled our noses. At first all we could hear was the spit, hiss and pop of the crackling fire. Then came the low, hypnotic hum of the chants. One of the monks had a voice so deep it sounded like he was growling. It must have been the chief priest. He continued to growl while the other chanters became faster and louder. Faster and louder, faster and louder, and then the 'boom boom' echo of the drum beat. Suddenly it all stopped and little bells started tinkling. The best way to describe it to you in a way you can picture is that it sounded like a scene in a film where a human sacrifice is about to take place. The head of the ritual is reciting the main incantation while his servants murmur in the background, and then the dramatic movie drumbeats build up to a crescendo just as the hero charges into the room and everything stops. Of course here, there were no human sacrifices and villains and nimble heroes! Just trying to give you an idea of what the place sounded like rather than what it looked like. The flickering candles cast a glow over the altar and gave a rusty, golden tinge to the monks' orange robes. It was all very beautiful and affecting. After the prayers, the head monk talked for a very long time about... er, we don't know what. It was all in Japanese. But the other pilgrims nodded along and occasionally lifted their arms up so we copied them.
Food in the temple was Buddhist vegan cuisine or 'shojin ryori.' As usual, there were many dishes and courses and we didn't know what 99% of the stuff was, but it was vegan and healthy so we wolfed it down. Most importantly, it tasted amazing and was by far my most favourite meal in Asia so far. The shojin ryori meals are very complex as this type of cuisine requires five different flavours, cooking methods and colours to be used at every meal. Goma-dofu, a sesame tofu, was a seriously tasty revelation. Man, no wonder the Japanese are the healthiest people on the planet and actually enjoy their food too!
We visited several temples, pagodas, museums and the main 'gate' of Koyasan, where statues of deities protect the town. They looked like scary baddies to us until we found out what they represented. Kukai's mausoleum is known as Okunoin and devotees believe that Kukai has not died but entered eternal meditation. Surrounding the mausoleum is the most amazing cemetery we've ever seen. We walked around gawping, our mouths open in awe. We didn't know there could be such a stunning cemetery in existence. It's huge, for a start. There are nearly a quarter of a million moss-covered gravestones and memorial pagodas, and some of them - usually for members of rich families - are ridiculously extravagant and occasionally crazy. Lining the paths and towering over our heads like large guards looking down on us were thousands of ancient cedar trees.
What an incredible place. Not just the cemetery but Koyasan as a whole. It's one of the best places we've ever been to and at this point in our trip, our favourite place in Asia. It was simply breathtaking. We were sad to leave. But on the plus side, we were heading back to Tokyo for one last dinner with Lex and Suzanne before our flight to Malaysia. A perfect way to end this leg of our journey.
People tell you Japan is unique. They tell you it's one of a kind. You expect it. But nothing prepares you for just how unique it really is until you're there. You catch glimpses of it when you have to wait at a designated junction to cross the road because doing it anywhere else is illegal. You start to feel it (literally) when you're sitting on a heated toilet seat with buttons all around you that cause lovely things to happen your bottom. You well and truly grasp it when you come out of the elevators in Lex and Suzanne's building to see someone taking their tiny pet dog into one with false eyelashes and pink hair clips. Yes, you read that right!
You see the crazy things these people do but then you engage with them on a personal level. What happens then is that one of them will offer to buy you a drink just because he's buying himself one and thinks it would be impolite to not ask you. Another one gives you her seat in a plane when you're sitting far away from your hubby just to be nice. (Either that or we looked like a couple who couldn't bear to be apart... Or perhaps she wanted to get away from the fro.) They offer you nothing but kindness and sometimes with bewildering enthusiasm. They're so calm, they chill you out and make you smile.
One minute you're having an elegant and cultured tea ceremony in a park and the next you're walking into a random shop laughing at the super cute little puppy that looks just like Imran. One minute you're marveling at how clean a country can be and how flawlessly everything is presented, from the people to the food to the store displays, and the next you're seeing sex shops advertising pornographic magazines that have more animated images in them than real women.
One minute you're arriving in Tokyo and seeing your buddies and the next you're being waved off by (a relieved-looking) Lex. All good things have to come to an end, I guess. Sigh.
Thanks guys for your wonderful hospitality and the non-stop fun. Spending time with you was definitely one of the highlights of our trip. We wish you were still in England... but if you had to be anywhere else in the world, we're glad it was in a place as brilliant as Japan.
Arigatou gozaimasu!
* As I'm taking my sweet time to write the last few blog posts, let it be known that Baby Papa has since been born. Mamma and Papas are happy, proud and sleep-deprived. We've seen Baby on Skype and she's gorgeous. Luckily, she was asleep at the time - I fear that she may cry for hours on end when she hears our voices fully-conscious, as it will probably bring back horrific memories of our rapping in the karaoke bar. If her first words are "F**k Marshall!" blame Lex and Imran. *
