Anyway, I digress. The reason there are (imaginary) ants in my pants is because I'm so ridiculously excited to write this post. Honestly, I can't sit still! Our Amazon adventure was unbelievably fabulous, and the things we did so unique, that just the mere thought of writing about them makes me feel madly happy because I can't believe that we actually did them. Experience of a lifetime? Abso-frickin'-lutely.
As 'eco-friendly' is our new holiday mantra, there couldn't be a more natural or ideal place to stay than in the jungle itself. Ariau Towers is a great 'hotel' on the banks of the Amazon River and each building is on stilts to avoid environmental disruption. There are a few 'towers' which have multiple bedrooms but there are also individual wood cabins actually in the treetops fabulously named 'Tarzan Houses;' both are surrounded by the massive trees that make up the forest canopy layer and both are frequented by monkeys if you leave any entrances unattended (so don't ever bend over naked.)
I've been mad about the rainforest ever since 'A' Level Geography class where I learnt about the importance of it to human survival and the awful impact of deforestation. That most of the deforestation was taking place because McDonalds and other companies needed space for cattle ranches to meet demand for their shit 'food' (and to allow this beef to be as cheap as possible) sickened me to my very core and it was the reason I boycotted all fast food places from then onwards. Humankind can easily live without them but it can't survive without the 'Lungs of the Planet' providing the majority of the world's oxygen. Anyway, since then, I've been trying to boycott a lot of products of companies that destroy the rainforest and all of our carbon footprint offsetting over the past five years has gone towards preserving this magical landmass.
So you can imagine how much this trip meant to me; how excited - and, if I'm honest, slightly emotional - I was about finally going to see the area I consider to be the most important on earth. Expectations too high, you think? Perhaps, but guess what? It did NOT disappoint! In fact, our rainforest experience was so incredible that it far exceeded our dreams and we want to go again and again! It was almost on a par with Patagonia as the best part of our trip and second only to it in terms of magnificence. Patagonia still clinches the top spot but it's a close one: neck and neck until the rainforest mosquitoes took a liking to us!
Fun fact time first (say that really fast over and over). The Rainforest has been around for 55 million years - this fact just makes it even more depressing that more than half of the world's rainforests have been destroyed in the last fifty years alone. There's nowhere on earth that can match the Amazon Rainforest for its bio-diversity with literally millions of flora and fauna species inhabiting the area. But many have already become extinct through deforestation. Humans really suck.
There is debate amongst experts as to whether the Amazon River or the Nile is the longest on the planet. I say, who cares? - they're both huge. The Amazon is definitely the largest in terms of waterflow though, sometimes being referred to as 'the River Sea' because of its size. It's something like 5000 miles long and up to 30 miles wide in the wet season. Crickey Mikey!
On the day we arrived at Ariau Towers we inadvertently acted out a scene from 'Friends.' Climbing off the boat onto the hotel's deck, I was busy excitedly taking in the surroundings and hadn't noticed Imran's hair - which hasn't been cut for three months - expanding in size. "What happened to your hair?" I asked him when I finally looked at him. "IT'S THE HUMIDITY!" he cried. Needless to say, I spent the rest of our time there calling him Monica. And that wasn't the only entertainment he provided, either. There were monkeys running all around the hotel grounds. People are told not to touch or feed them so as to not disrupt their natural eating and living patterns, but tourists have obviously ignored this rule because the monkeys are very reliant on food taken from humans. Anyway, Imran sat down on a hammock outside of the reception area and pulled out a can of cashew nuts. Within five seconds, about ten monkeys came charging towards him and jumped on him to get the nuts! He was well and truly ambushed. One monkey grabbed his head; another really feisty one clung to his back with fierce determination and Imran swung round and round until he was flung off by the force of the spin. Then a little old lady grabbed Imran and pulled him into her office for safety. I WISH I had gotten a picture for you because it was actually hilarious but it happened too quickly. I didn't let you down, I made all the jokes I know you're thinking right now: don't take your nuts out in public Imran or the monkeys will want to get their hands on them; you should keep your nuts hidden in your shorts Imran; leave your nuts alone and you'll avoid any monkey business!
That afternoon we were asked: "Do you want to go swimming in the Amazon River with pink dolphins? We'll understand if you're tired from your journey and don't want to." Tired?! As if that's a reason to give up an opportunity like this! We rode down the river in a canoe, every scene exactly like the ones shown on tv. Brown water - not dirty, just rich with certain sediments - and lush, tropical jungle on either side. Imran began to have second thoughts about going in the river. He needed the loo and couldn't get the story of the Candiru fish out of his head (see Mainland Ecuador post.) So I jumped right in instead. Turned out the pink dolphins (yep, they really are part pink) weren't very friendly and had no interest in playing with us. Fair enough; we were in their territory, after all. But there was no need to whack me round the legs with their tails each time I touched them - a dirty look would suffice! Imran eventually got in the water too and forgot all about his need to pee when he was told to keep his hands above water in case the dolphins mistook them for fish and tried to eat them. It was a great experience. Dolphins - even unfriendly ones - rock!
That evening we went for a sunset ride in the canoe. All we could see for miles in every direction were a dozen shades of green, brown, yellow and blue. The water was so still and serene that we could see our own reflections and the only noise was the various calls of the birds. The air was fresh and clean and smelt of flowers. It was breathtaking. As night arrived we went searching for caimans, or members of the alligator family as they're better known! It was pitch black with only the moon lighting our way. Night is when the rainforest comes alive. There was a soft breeze and the only obvious movement was the peaceful ripple of the canoe through the water. We could hear every sound imaginable: sitting in awed silence we listened to an orchestra of croaks, tweets, squawks, peeps, whistles, hums, buzzing, howls and hoots.
Reassuringly, our guide told us that caimans are most aggressive species in the Amazon. They eat snakes, piranhas and even dolphins! The only predator they have is the jaguar but they're still the most aggressive in their hunting. Perhaps luckily then, we only found a baby one. The guys who steer the canoes are pretty crazy and just jump in the water and grab one, without any consideration for life or limb. Our guy, Antonio, was such a dude. He thought it would be funny to pretend he was being eaten alive which other tourists did not appreciate but we found pretty funny! Remembering our pact, brave Imran decided to hold the caiman despite our guide's warnings. "The babies are capable of taking a finger or two in a split second," she said, holding up an incomplete hand. (Turned out she was also a joker and her hand was fully intact!) After a while, I started to feel a bit funny in my tummy when everyone was taking dozens of pictures of the caiman instead of just one (it's very sensitive to light in its eyes) and one of the tourists on our boat was holding it in the air like a trophy and pretending to throw it around like a football. But luckily our guide decided it was time to put him in the water (the caiman, not the tourist unfortunately.) What a crazy first day.
The following morning, Imran got up at five to go and watch the sun rise over the river. Or, should I say, he went to take photos because he is obsessed with that bloody camera! Obviously I stayed in bed until it was time to go for a jungle trek. We didn't venture very far into the forest which was fine by us because we weren't overly excited at the prospect of meeting snakes and tarantulas, but we still saw an amazing variety of plant life. It was very hot and humid and became darker and darker as we walked deeper into the forest. We sniffed the menthol tree which is used to make Vics vapour rub and avoided the leaves that cause muscle paralysis and are used to make anaesthetic; we tasted the bitter leaves from which all malaria medicines are created and tapped a tree to release the resin that makes aspirin; we marvelled at the Pau Rosa wood which yields oil used in Chanel No 5 perfume and retched as we were offered live larvae to eat (taste like coconut cream apparently and just ten of them contain more protein than a kilo of meat, but after holding one and seeing how squidgy and wriggly it was, we couldn't bring ourselves to try one!) It was a very interesting and enjoyable trek but we came back to Ariau Towers swollen and itchy with our most painful mosquito bites to date (and only had ourselves to blame as we had completely forgotten to put any repellent on. Who on earth forgets mozzie repellent in the rainforest?!) If only we'd found the natural source of antihistamines in the forest - I would've sucked that leaf bone dry!
That afternoon we went piranha fishing. It was SO much fun. We just had a bamboo stick with a thread and hook attached and some pieces of meat to use as bait. They were crafty little devils to begin with and would simply find a way to pull the meat away from the hook without getting caught. But eventually we started to catch some. Imran and I both caught about four each - all black ones for him and all red ones (the tastier ones!) for me. Antonio held one as we pulled it out of the water and put things in its mouth so we could see the ferocity of its teeth: damn, those things can bite! I learned I am perhaps more anal about clean hands than I previously thought because I kept washing my meat-covered fingers in the river. Obviously the benefit of actually having fingers is far outweighed by the desire to wash them in a river abundant with a killer of a fish with a voracious appetite for meat. We did eat the piranhas at dinner. They were tasty enough although the ratio of meat to bones was a bit out of kilter. The fishing was definitely more fun than the reward of eating them!
At night we visited an indigenous Indian tribe. This was the most affecting activity we did during our stay; the one that really made our hearts skip a beat and think: "Wow, we are really in the Amazon." I don't remember exactly what the name of the tribe was but I THINK it was a small part of the Satere-Mawe tribe. The tribe has a number of family communities with their own leader and the leader of this particular one was one of the few willing to allow tourists' visits. The tribes had previously been forced off their land due to big corporations destroying it in the search for gold and oil. They left for the nearby city of Manaus where prejudice against the native Indians drove them back to the forest, but here they were rejected by the other tribes for disloyalty to their original home. Ariau Towers was helping the tribe members when they had no other option and in return, they allowed us to go and see an important ritual.
Our canoe hit the banks of the river in total darkness. There was an eerie silence and, hearts thumping, we climbed out onto the land and stood still, waiting. Suddenly, a loud horn sounded, scaring the bejesus out of us, and two young boys appeared from the shadows holding a big wooden club. They were completely naked with the exception of a string around their waists and a flap covering their baby makers. Barefoot and without a word, they led us through the forest blowing the horn every other minute. We couldn't see where we were going; we were stepping on wet things, dry things, things that crunched and things that moved. We could smell smoke in the distance. Then they just stopped. We all stood in front of a gigantic tree completely in the dark (both literally and in the unknowing sense) when one of them took an almighty swing against the tree with the club. BOOM. Louder than any drum; echoing through the entire forest and vibrating through every cell in our bodies. And again. BOOM. Holy moly, what was going to happen? Then in the distance, a reply. BOOM. And the horn from elsewhere in the forest. It was a signal to tell the tribe how close we were and to expect us soon. Then we walked some more, awed beyond belief, until we came to a group of huts lit up by a fire. Welcome to the tribal village.
We met the leader of the tribe who told us through a translator that she was happy we could be here to enjoy the ritual with them. The facial expressions of the other members didn't show an agreement with her views. We were told we were very lucky to see this particular ritual as it's only done when there are boys of age available, and the last time was over four months ago. The ritual she spoke of was one that marks the coming of age of pubescent boys and tests their strength as future warriors. Remember those crazy giant ants I told you about? Well, they're known as bullet ants because their bite is apparently as painful as taking a bullet shot. One potent sting causes 'waves of throbbing pain unabated for twenty-four hours.' A whole bunch of these ants are woven into a big glove and the boy in question has to put his hand in the glove for ten to forty minutes. Afterwards his arm is temporarily paralysed due to the venom and he has to spend a week in isolation to recover. Some don't make it. I was NOT looking forward to seeing this! But tribal rituals are part of a private culture and Westerners have no right to impose their own judgements and moral views of what is or isn't acceptable on such communities.
We were allowed to take pictures but it didn't feel right. It felt disrespectful and a bit like treating the people as performing seals. We took a couple but couldn't bring ourselves to do the same as that annoying tourist already mentioned: he ran around the hut touching anything he wanted, grabbed the sacred glove and threw it at his brother and took photos of all the people without permission. Some tribes believe that photos capture the souls of their children and so should only be taken with permission from the leader. Tourists might be viewed a bit more positively and more sincerely welcomed rather than seen as a painful necessity if they had a bit more sensitivity.
First the whole tribe started chanting. Then they held hands and sang and danced around the hut to the sound of a rattle and the intermittent horn. We were so enraptured by the mesmerising singing that we didn't notice one of the boys was wearing the glove. After about fifteen minutes, the ceremony ended and the boy went away. We got to look inside the glove.
I hate to be cynical here but I'm not sure this was a real ceremony. I think it was a re-enactment of a real ceremony but one that is slowly becoming less common. I don't think we were exceptionally lucky to see the ritual as I believe it is done for tourists fairly often. Allowing tourists to see it is one thing but allowing them to join in the dancing is another. There were many reasons that made me think all this but I don't say it negatively. At the end of the day, just being in the village with the indigenous people was a mind-blowing experience enough. Seeing the ritual with the song and dance was fantastic and it's therefore irrelevant if it was actually to commemorate the boy's transition into adulthood or whether they were just showing us what happens when they do have this ceremony. I don't think the boy's hand was unprotected in the glove and I'm glad - do they believe us tourists are so cruel that we wouldn't be happy with seeing this event unless we saw him go through pain? We won't ever know for sure if I was right but it doesn't matter: the experience was phenomenal and one of the best things we've ever been privileged enough to see, and we'd actually prefer if it was just a show so that a highly important rite of passage wasn't turned into a circus act. The two kids took us back through the forest and we returned in silence, all of us lost in our own thoughts of this amazing night.
Deciding to do something a bit less emotionally deep the next day, Imran and I went tree climbing. It was awesome! Our tree was only about 30m high and the climbing was pretty easy thanks to the harnesses we were strapped in. Imran's highlight was reaching the top and lying in the hammock tied to the branches. My highlight was swinging in the air like a wild monkey and jumping off and onto branches!
In the afternoon we visited the home of some natives. This was a different ethnic group to the indigenous Indian tribe we'd met the night before, and they had more contact with the outside world. Most of the sons of the family's head worked in the city of Manaus while the rest of the family continued to live fairly traditional lives in the Amazon, albeit with mobile phones. It was interesting and a great deal of fun hanging out with the father - he was jolly and energetic and wanted to show us everything. He dug up manioc roots and got his kids to make fresh cassava bread for us; he cut down branches from the trees with his machete in order to feed us fresh cashews; and he excitedly showed us the Urucum plant with its bright red pods, the inner seeds of which contain a pigment shipped to France to make lipstick. This was a modern day showcase of the way the natives really live now at its best.
What an incredible day, yet again! It needed to be toasted with a drink. The Caipirinhas in Brazil have been out of this world. They're so strong that I only need one to be dancing on the tables but Imran's been drinking them like water. He frequented the Ariau bar so often that the barman decided he should just learn how to make them himself. Now that he's got the concoction down to a 'T' expect to be offered a load of these when you're next at our house!
We left Ariau Towers the following morning overcome with disappointment. We loved this part of our trip so much and just didn't want the experiences to end. It had been unbearably humid and baking hot for our entire duration but it started pouring with rain on the morning we left, so maybe that was nature's way of saying it was time to go. We took a boat to the shores of Manaus but luckily for us, there was one more sight we could see on the way: the famous 'Meeting of the Rivers.' Rio Negro and Rio Solimoes are two tributaries of the Amazon River that run alongside one another for six miles. The former is black and the latter is yellow due to the different sediment in each. On top of this, each river has its own unique density, water temperature and velocity which means the two meet but never mix. You have to see it to believe it, and we were amazed when we did. Nature is just brilliant! Of course, the pouring rain that started in the morning had now turned into a fully-fledged storm and we were struggling in a boat on the open water. But this is laid-back Brazil where anything goes: we arrived at the airport to fly to Salvador and were at the check-in desk exactly fifteen minutes before the flight was due to depart... and we were still able to get on the plane! Only in Brazil.
The Amazon Rainforest didn't let me down. It thrilled and moved us and only strengthened our resolve to take measures to help with its survival. It covers over a billion acres so it's understandable why people think it's too large to ever be impacted detrimentally. But while this way of thinking might have once been understandable, we now know deforestation is having far-reaching negative impacts. We NEED the rainforest because we can't survive without it, simple as that. It gives us oxygen and cools the earth. While I don't believe that 'global warming' as a man-made problem exists, I do believe that caring for the environment is important because humans are simply shortening their existence by slowly making the earth uninhabitable for themselves. Nature will always be stronger than us and when humans do eventually become extinct, planet earth will carry on. But if we're going down, we have no right to take so many other species with us.
Most species of animals in the Amazon are disappearing because of illegal biological trade. This trade covers two industries. One: endangered animals being shipped abroad so that people with more money than sense can have exotic, live pets as part of their private collections. Two: live animals and plants illegally taken to animal testing laboratories in Europe and the US owned by the big pharmaceutical companies. Now, let's put aside any debate about animal testing. Let's also put aside any bias I might have against Western medicine as a whole. Let's just ask one simple question: when the pharmaceutical industry makes billions upon billions of dollars each year, why can't it source plants and animals ethically and legally and pay to do the research? The cheaper the research costs, the cheaper they can sell pills to us with the overall effect of both being they generate more profit. Should they be allowed to keep these kinds of things secret? They serve us, the buying public; we have a right to know how our products get to us and they should answer to us if we don't like their methods.
Cattle ranches are the reason why football field-sized patches of rainforest are cleared every minute. The processes used for this are so damaging that there is no chance of the forest recuperating itself. It's a sad state of affairs if the Western world is so dependent on Flame Grilled Whoppers and if it wants cheap meat in its supermarkets so badly that it won't spend the equivalent of a Big Mac to buy British meat products instead. Our demands - and buying habits - rule the food industry. And the more that people ask about the provenance of food in restaurants or wherever else, the more likely the buyers are to change their suppliers. Let's not forget about the people. The rainforest is home to not only wildlife but other human beings who have spent thousands of years living in harmony with it. The Amazon is their home, their way of life and their survival. Is it really right that someone from our part of the world can come along and say: "Sorry, but we need you to sod off now so we can build a new McDonalds in Trafalgar Square. It's not fair that the nearest one is currently six minutes walk away. Go on, off you go. Don't care where" ?
Palm oil comes from the rainforest. The increase in usage of it means its manufacture is now contributing to the destruction quite heavily. It's used in the Western world in a lot of processed junk food and in all supermarket microwaveable ready-meals (with the exception of M&S who just recently announced they were taking it out of all ready-meals. Certainly a step in the right direction.) People don't need to do anything except just be aware, that's all. If people are aware, some will care and it's only when enough people care that change happens.
The Galapagos Islands are a perfect example of a time when man used his noggin. The area was exploited so much at first until the powers-that-be realised conservation was not only vital but also the key to profit. Now they work hard at maintaining every island and ensuring nothing is overly disturbed, and charge lots of money to tourists keen to see such untouched natural beauty. Win-win. I don't know what can be done with regards to the Amazon Rainforest. All I know is, to care is easy but to not give a shit is a disaster waiting to happen. Our world is so beautiful and it will be a crying shame to only realise that when it's too late.
My final Brazil post will be written on the plane going back home and will be posted once we're back in freezing London. We're dreading the weather but very much looking forward to seeing you all!
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